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Tinder; the New “Rishta Wali Aunti”


The title of this article must have made the direction in which I will be heading pretty clear. If not, then let me introduce you to the new character in the life of Social Media; Tinder. Tinder is the most popular and trending dating app in today’s online world.

Why am I calling Tinder as the new rishta wali aunty (matchmaker) you ask? Well because tinder is quite similar to the traditional system of arranged marriages. Unless you’re looking for something casual, Tinder can easily be used to find a prospective life partner.

Let us now consider the matchmaking done through a conventional arranged marriage in comparison to Tinder.

The Traditional Rishta Wali Aunty

The traditional rishta wali aunty is mostly a lady around 40s-50s in age – who is likely to judge you based on your complexion, physique, posture and every other possible way so she can finally label you “Rishta Material”(Perfect for marriage). She might even slip you a fair and lovely if she thinks you’re not “white enough.” An ideal “bahu” (daughter in law) for such aunties is usually a young, white girl with hair as long as her knees, who knows how to cook but also holds an MBBS degree. (Good luck with that aunty!) Raise your hands if any such aunty has ever said the following to you: “Sasural mein ja kar ye tou sabki naak katwa degi” (She will embarrass all of us in front of her in-laws.)

These aunties then present the pictures of a few lucky “candidates” to your (might be) man and mother in law. If you present a good demo to her when she visits, she might even vouch for you in front of the “larkay wale.” The man and his mother are unable to take their decision before they visit a few houses to enjoy tea and biscuits.  

The next step is to shortlist the luckier candidates from the lucky ones. At this stage, the candidate has been provided with the opportunity to meet the man. In the past, this step was looked down upon, but with the intrusion of modernism, many families have now accepted this stage readily.

The ringing of your wedding bells depends on this stage, if it goes well, then great! Otherwise, repeat the loop until match found.

The Modern Rishta Wali Aunty.

The Modern Aunty (Tinder) is quite understanding and accommodating. She provides you with suitable suitors based on your geographical location and allows you to swipe right if you approve and left if you don’t. A match is made when the other person also swipes right. Now you can begin interviewing the other. The possibility of matching with multiple people is quite high and you can have a conversation with more than one person. It is up to you and only you to decide if, and who you would like to have a meet up with.

Like the “larkay wale” list their demands to the rishta wali aunty, the same functionality is provided by the filters of Tinder. You can set the age and geographical boundaries according to your preference. Your Tinder will not judge you if you tell it that you do not want to marry someone from “Committee Chowk, Rawalpindi” or “Model Town.” The most interesting part is that you have more than one picture to critically analyze the person before you swipe “Right.” However, if you’re still unsatisfied you can always text the other and clear your query.

Why People Still Prefer The Conventional Way?

Older generations have still not come to terms with this new technology and its modern ways.

To most of them, using a dating app means that there is something wrong with the person. “The girl is shameless for talking about her own marriage. Maybe she’s fat or ugly that’s why she’s finding a mate herself. Or ss she trying to hide something?” “The guy is naive. Maybe he doesn’t know how many marriage proposals a mother of a single boy receives.” The bigger issue is for the girls because she is usually not given a choice to choose her life partner, so how dare she “swipe right?”

Dating apps are spreading throughout the world like wildfire, particularly the global north. Aziz Ansari, well known American comedian and actor, in his book, Modern Romance, discusses the pros and cons of the effects of dating apps such as Tinder. Although the collected information shows that most of these meetings ended up in hookups, however, some of the people also found their better halves.

Since our culture, our social structure, our background is rather different than that in West; so we should picture these apps in a different light. Thus, Tinder is much like an arranged marriage, except that this rishta wali aunty is more supportive. She will not tell you to settle. She will motivate you to keep swiping!


About Aruba Ali

Aruba Ali is an English student who loves to read and write in her leisure time. She continues to research and reach out to different people to expand her knowledge. Other than that, she enjoys doing photography.